HOW TO BE SINGLE

There is a right way to be single. And the wrong way to be single and then there’s this guy. We are embarassed to admit we’re single and try to pretend that we’re not. We’re supposed to act all cheerful n happy about it. But why should we be embarassed? We are living longer, marrying later and refusing to leave the party before we’re really really done.

So why do we always tell our stories through relationships? But this story isnt about relationships, it’s about all those times in between when maybe, just maybe, our real life is happening. I’ve been thinking that, the time we have to be single is really the time we have to get good at being alone but how good at being alone do we really wanna be? Isnt there a danger that you will get so good at being single. So stuck in your ways that you miss out in the chance to be with somebody great.?

Some people take baby steps to settle down. Some people refuse to settle at all. Sometimes it’s not statistics it’s just chemistry. And sometimes just because it is over doesn’t mean the love ends. The thing about being single is you should cherish it. Because in a week or a lifetime of being alone you may only get one moment, one moment when you are not tied up in a relationship with anyone. A parent, a pet, a sibling a friend. One moment when you stand on your own. Really truelly single. And then it’s gone.

#howtobesinglemve

FOR MY FUTURE ONE.

So, umm, i thought this was a great title to write sum’n about and now I’m here with zero content about it so im gonna think a little then begin. I am literaly out of words for my future one 😁 can you believe this? 

So this is it, I want to lock eyes with you on our first day and feel my heart racing really hard. I want my whole body and soul to scream ‘he’s the one girl’ and i want you to tell me later that you felt the exact same way when you saw me and i sure want that day to be very special. Paragraph sounds normal though. 😁

I done kissed several frogs and you  are not allowed  to be another but as we try to figure that out I want you to love me for me, i am one ugly ass with so many ugly ass things and an ugly ass past so i am way fucked up than you can imagine but if you can find this attractive, you are sure going to awaken some great side of me that you will never want to lose.  

Please do not criticize my flaws. Well, you are allowed to make a little fun about stuff but if only you are going to lift me up afterwards  with strong words and tell me that, i am still  the best there is and that you couldn’t find any better. 

I want you to be my realest, the only one i can trust my darkest secrets with, i want you to be the best friend I’ve never had and i want us to be happy. I am super annoying, with the smallest of things, and trust me it’s so bad sometimes you’ll want to punch me but you’ll have to promise to never hit me. I do not have any strength to take blows from you. 

You will have to put me before the others because im going to be selfish like that. The minion said it all so i don’t need to explain much and spoil the whole thing you know. 

Be playful. Lets be stupid and weird without limit. Let’s have so much fun we’d chock off it, lets travel and make memories so great we’d envy ourselfs. 

Give me my freedom and i will give you yours, love me and i will give you all the love you never got, ride for me and i sure will be down for you whenever. 

Share with me your darkest fears and let’s find ways to be strong through life together. Let me feel safe with you and i so want to be proud being with you. Let’s be one strong ass team unbreakable and always winning. Let’s fight from time to time and laugh about it when we’re fine. Let’s work our asses off to have the best of everything we need and most important stuff let’s be grateful for everything and  serve God together. 

I could write more but i feel this is enough for now. I will sure be laughing or feeling stupid about this post some day so let me only laugh or feel a little stupid when the day comes. Bye 

Dee

RIDICULOUSNESS

Do I look ridiculous!?

In my village, if you get done with your primary school education that’s all you ever need in your life. Thereafter you go start looking for a job. The grades don’t even matter even if you get a Z in each subject you studied. One who went through primary school education until class eight is better than one who dropped out and one who went past primary education is like a god.
People from my home place are hilarious. We all need help from time to time with things we don’t have or things we are unable to do. Everyone is needy even the rich will need help with some things. People from my place will never assist you genuinely. They will come to your place tell you their problems and you help them with all you are able to do. But when it’s your turn to need help, good thing they won’t turn you down, but they will make you pay for their help.

I tell people about my home place and the first thing they say to me are things like, ‘I heard there are plenty of witches over there.’  Sad as it sounds but I don’t know.
In my village whatever happens to you, don’t matter whether it’s good or bad it’s for a reason, Witchcraft. Do anything crazy or out of the norm like, wake up happy and walk to the shop humming to some song because u can’t hide your joy, and there you are, bewitched, as they’ll say. As a child and even now there are some homes where I can’t eat food whenever I visit them because I was warned that I’ll be charmed. I have no real friends from my area because I was stopped from hanging out with some few simply because they live In a ‘witchcraftdom’.
What’s more is that, there are those you are not supposed to meet on your way to some place coz they are just bad omen. As I type this right now some guy is screaming really hard, he is possesed. Apparently, he got a job and nope, he never set his foot in a classroom let alone a school compound.

Can you imagine not knowing how a school bell looks like or what they call a book or a pen. Not his wish, and I’m not here to judge. He however worked for his uncle in a far town and came back like that. Nobody knows what happened, he screams from time to time and everyone of course says he was charmed by his uncle. If you find people in my village talking about charms or witchcraft you’ll feel like you also breath it, you feel it. You may even start feeling charmed already for no reason, just because of the weight given to the subject.

Of course the boy’s uncle is rich, had mercy on the boy and asked him to go stay with him and support him at home, do some chores for him and earn himself something, just so he couldn’t be so idle at home. What he gets from his own people is that he wasted their child. Here you can’t just seem like you are rich because you will be with charms. Funny part is that these people call you a witch but come for your help from time to time forgetting the magic you could perform on them. Others will come for your help but when something crazy happens to them, which is normal in life, it’s you who will be the cause. You don’t give up doing good though to others that need your help because you can’t get everyone to understand you.
Yesterday, I came from work a bit late. It was a little bit dark. On the path to my home I met a lady all covered from head to toe. She didn’t look up so I didn’t see her face. We just walked past each other without a word. It was nothing unusual because, it’s too cold here and I thought she covered herself to keep warm. It’s a normal thing for me to walk past people I don’t know without saying a word so this was nothing new.

So, later my uncle came to our house to say hi know how we’re doing then later just before he left warned us that there’s a witch around. That a neighbor had brought a witch to ‘treat’ her family to be safe from being charmed by other witches. Isn’t this just all weird though?! I mean, who knows, she could be planting her charms in them. Last time I checked my neighbor’s two kids were possessed, and every time they would call a pastor to pray for them and now a witch to treat them from charms? Isn’t this what they call playing with God? My uncle described her and I realized that she was heading to my neighbors when she walked past me on my way home.
Every time I’m home, another one walks by the road, with her goat shouting and cursing so bad you would hide in a hole so you won’t hear. She’s just crazy, ran away from her home claiming that the evil spirits of her children could not contain her because she doesn’t bathe. Not my words, she always shouts that to everyone on the road where she sits all day and goes to sleep at some miraa boy’s house. A boy too young to be her grandson. Ain’t judging I’m just telling you about my village.
I’d tell my friends stories like these. It’s all I hear but as for me, I don’t know anything about this much hyped Witchcraft in my village. I’ve never seen one neither believe that people get charmed and made to act in certain ways to justify Witchcraft. Maybe it’s their illiteracy that makes them like this, I don’t know. I’m just thinking out loud.

THINKING OUT LOUD

Somebody once told me that a ring is round in shape to signify the unending love that couples will have all through their married lives. He somehow convinced me.

Well, I’ve always thought that marriage life is the most difficult time someone could go through in life. Before you through stones yet I’ve got my sentiments about the same.
It doesn’t matter to me where you choose to marry from. But, yea some say it feels great having someone who cares about you by your side, well I understand, but do y’all enjoy each other’s company till y’all die at the same time? Others live for the moment they parents walk them down the aisle just to make them proud. They live for the moment they friends will gift them and fall in love with their wedding gown and the fun of the big day. A few others get excited about their name changing from being their fathers child to belong to their soul mate. Well it’s a great thing on your big day.

Doesn’t mean that I have never loved, I’ve fallen in love many times and whenever someone said ‘you’re mine’ I’d get scared a little. It’d feel like the world had stopped for a moment. Then I would think of the weight of those words. When you get someone, a soul mate and get married in whatever way it doesn’t sound like a joke. You can’t do just whatever you feel like in this union without consulting your partner because you just can’t hurt their feelings it will haunt you equally too. In marriage you adopt each other’s way of living. You all have your strengths and even though you have flaws too, you accept them and learn to live with each other or get used to yourselves as some will say. You can’t go out partying with your friends till the next day because you’ll have questions to answer and justify. You can’t take your mama’s side whenever there’s a misunderstanding between her and your woman rather, you learn to handle matters equally between them.

The above are not my main arguments. When you’re married to someone you’re so connected to each other. I wouldn’t stand my partner traveling to a far country because of job issues or for whatever reason. That would be like cutting a part of me. Neither would I stand my better half going first before me. I would die with him. I tear down whenever I see one die and leave the other behind, hopeless and sorrowful especially if it’s a case of a young couple. I fit in their shoes and it just feels like a punishment. It feels like you didn’t have enough time with each other.
Sometimes your partner will hurt you in so many ways. Imagine that part where y’all have children together who need to go to school and you the woman are the one that takes responsibility of everything in the home while the guy is just full of himself not even caring what happens there, how y’all afford to eat from January to December. It cuts so sharp.

What if y’all thought you were fine until one day from work you find your spouse in bed with another person and fail to understand why?  Wouldn’t you just rough up?
And if at one point your love fades away completely and you no longer feel the same for each other. You are too ashamed to walk away because it won’t feel right and even so it’s so hard for you. You will feel like you fell for each other for the wrong reasons and regrets cost you much.
Or y’all find yourselves rather not talk to each other coz talking y’all end up screaming at each other and fighting for nothing and y’all can’t solve a thing in the end coz none listens to the other. At this point you’re next to each other yet so distant. Like strangers.

In this Union you’re not sure when your partner will come home fucked up by stress or high on some drug and plan to end your lifes, maybe including theirs. U’re always in the dark.
Before walking into marriage, you’ve got to know your partner well and understand what kind of a person they are. It’s the importance of courtship. You don’t want to find out years later wondering what you thought marrying him or her. Finding out that your partner was not what you used to know, you’ll feel so betrayed. Just thinking out loud and there are great sides of it altogether.

THIS LITTLE GIRL

She was so little and innocent only following her mother’s instructions. Her dad would take her to school in the morning but she’d go home alone In the evening. Too afraid to meet other people she didn’t know, she’d hide inside a small bush atthe sight of something bigger than her, a vehicle and even elder people. The world seemed so huge and terrifying with her mother as her only savior. Most are the times her mother would receive multiple calls that her daughter was seen inside a bush peeping at passers by too terrified seen from her shaking at the sight of many people. Then her mum got somebody to pick her home every after school.

But then her school life was a mess. With no human friends, nobody to talk to or hang around with, she’d hug a tree just outside her classroom for a whole break time then go back inside easily immediately the bell rang for after break.

She grew too thin coz she was too afraid to eat around other children, ‘how do I take this food in to my mouth? They will laugh at how I chew food,’ she would worry. So she’d give it all out to other kids and watch them maul it like an animal would it’s prey. At home she’d run for hiding at the sight of visitors. Run all the way crying to her mum that someone was coming to steal her.

Back then her granny would tell her to be careful coz some human from another world roamed everywhere stealing children and feasting on them in a far world. So she could not stand the thought of being eaten up and not seeing her mum.

Childhood was formidable. Back in the 90s parents were so protective of their babies. Ah’s mum would lock her inside the house whenever she left for the market and warn her not to cry else an iîmu would hear and come to eat her up.

Oh yea Ah’s her name, I realise now that I hadn’t told it to y’all. She was so tiny when she was born so her mum called her Ah, the little one. This little girl is now all grown, no longer fearing elderly people but respecting then and social than ever before.

More on Ah coming soon. Keep here.